When I Grieve More for the Surviving Family Members than the Person Who Passed Away
I feel guilty for the way my grief shows up
Grief is a murky emotion for me.
I’ve been fortunate that I’ve had limited experience with death in my life.
So when my paternal grandfather passed away 5 years ago, it was my first experience of loss. And now… my maternal grandmother passed away just 2 days ago.
I’ve been navigating these experiences of grief and they’ve surprised me. You never know how you’ll react when someone passes away.
Even as I write this article, it’s a little hard to find the words. But I want to because I know how cathartic it is for me to write. And in case others can relate to my story too.
I apologize in advance if this piece isn’t as polished or put together as I would normally attempt to do. But I feel that it’s important to share it anyway.
When You Feel Nothing
My grief response has looked something like this:
- Mostly numb
- Lots of guilt over feeling numb
- Trying to pull out emotion unnecessarily as a way to prove I’m grieving
